I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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