...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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