Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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