What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
