We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
