drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
