Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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