PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
