Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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