This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I supernannyed him into submission
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
