Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Holy sore nipples Batman
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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