so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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