The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
