He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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