idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
