we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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