Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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