i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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