Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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