Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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