whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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