Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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