Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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