I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
