Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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