How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Is it penis luge time yet?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
