I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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