her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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