Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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