fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
