At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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