found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize