fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
