thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
