shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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