I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
fuck your aforementioned shoe
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
