I'm going to jail i love you
tell your sister to shave her snatch
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
