When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
