im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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