dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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