I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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