I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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