So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
