I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
