He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
