I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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