Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
