For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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