is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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