I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
