I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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